芥子 第52期 52

詩三首:快樂轉圓圈 Merry-Go-Round

星熒

快樂轉圓圈 Merry-Go-Round

星熒

 

生來不知世上有自由,我是人間一隻小木馬
住在彩色繽紛傘篷下,那兒就是我唯一的家
家裏還有麋鹿,斑馬和大象
全被釘在轉盤上

 

Never knowing there is freedom in my world, I am a little wooden horse in this human world,
Living under a colorful umbrella-cover, where I believe is my home.
There are also deer, zebras and elephants in my home.
Just like me, they have all been nailed on the turntable.

 

我們排列整齊,聽話又乖巧,個個都是好模樣
人人都讚美我,白色的身軀,配上鬃毛的金黃
在我強壯的腿蹄上,還裝飾著美麗的翅膀

 

Being neatly lined up, we are obedient and cute wooden puppets.
Every person admires my white body that matches the golden hair on my neck.
Even my strong legs are decorated with beautiful wings.1

 

我們是一群樣板木偶,固定在這美麗的傘篷下
是擎天支柱的鋼管撐起這傘篷,也貫穿我們胸腔
我們失去了自由,生命裏轉動著
那僅存的,一圈無盡頭的希望!

 

We are the crowd of model puppets fixed under this beautiful umbrella.
The steel-tubes prop up the ceiling cover, but also go through our chests.
In our life, what rotates is only a circle of endless hope,
Since we have lost our freedom!

 

可是主人他們說:
就是那些鋼管,我們的擎天支柱
沒有它就沒有這片天
是它給了我們這個家

 

But they, our masters, tell us that
The steel-tubes support our heaven,
Without these poles, there would not be this piece of sky.
It is the steel-tube that gives us our home!

 

我的確是住在這美麗的傘篷下
但那擎天支柱的鋼管,貫穿我胸腔
快樂 只能迴旋,不會飛翔!
快樂與我 永遠離不開這個短短半徑的小圓圈

 

It is true I am living under this beautiful umbrella-cover.
Yes, the steel-tube does support my heaven but also goes through my chest.
Happiness can never fly but only go round!
Happiness and I can never leave this small circle of such short radius.

 

當音樂響起時,我只能 - -
滿載著 孩子們驚喜中的盼望
還有我 這一生對自由的嚮往
隨著節拍不停地跳躍,載著孩子們在韻律中升降
我們在樂聲中迴旋,期盼快樂能飛出這個小圓圈
一圈又一圈,一遍再一遍,快樂 在兜著圈圈

 

When the music starts,
Carrying children’s joyful expectations
And also my own lifelong hope of being free,
I can only jump with the music beats, and move the children up and down in the melody.
We are circling round and round, hoping happiness would fly out of this small circle.
Going round and round, again and again, happiness is circling round!

 

我多麽不願知道 - -
有這麽難懂的真理,有這麽一堵看不見的圍牆!
快樂 永遠飛不出 這個永恆不變的小圓圈。
快樂 只能在轉盤上迴旋!
難怪人們都叫我的家是Merry-Go-Round!

 

How I hate to know – -
There exists a truth that is so hard to understand, a wall that is invisible!
Happiness can never fly out of the permanent perimeter of this small circle.
Happiness can only circle and go round on this turntable!
No wander people call our home Merry-Go-Round!

 

啊,鋼管!那擎天支柱!

 

Oh, the steel-tubes, the poles that have propped up our sky!

 

有權勢的他們總對我們說:
「沒有它就沒有這片天,
是它給了你們這個家
大家都來感恩呀!
你們都要感激它!人人都應讚美它!」

 

They, the authorities, always tell us:
“Without the steel-tubes, there would not be this piece of sky.
All because those poles, they give you this home.
Let us be deeply grateful!
You ought to be indebted to them! Everybody should praise them!”

 

可是。。。受傷的我,
心不甘,情不願

 

However, 。。。having been wounded for so long,
How could I be most willing and perfectly happy to appreciate!?

 

多少個夢裏。。。
我會像 一匹無羈的野馬
盡興地 奔馳
在 白雲藍天覆蓋的草原上
那 沒有枷鎖的天堂!
快樂 在自由地飛翔!

 

In so many dreams, 。。。
I would like to be a wild horse without bridle,
Galloping to my heart’s content across the vast grassland
Under the white clouds drifting through the blue sky.
That is a heavenly land without yoke and shackles.
In this land, happiness is flying freely!

 

這是一個 永不終止的 美麗夢想!
夢醒時。。。
快樂 又只能在轉盤上迴旋
Merry-Go-Round!

 

This is a forever-beautiful dream without ending!
When I wake up, 。。。
Again, happiness is only able to go round on the turntable.
Merry-Go-Round!

 

【星熒 於2010 年2 月 26 日寫成此中文初稿(見註),數日後完成其 英譯文于美國南加州的 娜荷雅】 【註】黛莉(Tai-li)將葉之行(Ye Zhixing ) 的一篇散文 近作,「迴旋,再迴旋」,e-mail 給我,那是80後出生的一個中國年輕人 對愛情的渲泄。作者描述遊樂園中Merry-Go-Round的小木馬對一個小女孩的愛慕之情,他談的是「爱情」。可是,一提起Merry-Go-Round與小木馬,我就興起了另一種 完全不同 的感受~我想到的是「自由」 而寫成此詩。生活在一個特定的,人造的,無法改變的 環境中,我們也不過就是另一隻小木馬,一隻被釘在我們自己的無形轉盤上的 小木馬。今生今世,快樂只能迴旋,不會飛翔!

[Hsing Ying星熒 wrote this poem in Chinese (see Note), in La Jolla, California USA on February 26, 2010 and translated it into English a few days later.]

[Note]: Tai-li(黛莉)forwarded to me in her email a Chinese article, “Go Round and Round(迴旋,再迴旋),” written by Ye Zhixing(葉之行). It is a well-written essay of a Chinese young man of the post-80-born generation pouring out his love-feelings. Its author, Ye, described the feelings of a wooden horse that lost its heart to a little girl whom it ‘’met‘’ on the turntable of its Merry-Go-Round. What Ye talked about is “Love.” But, whenever the wooden horse and the Merry-Go-Round are mentioned, instantly I have other totally different feelings. What I am thinking about is “Freedom”, which contributes to the writing of this poem. Living in such a specified, man-made and unchangeable environment, each of us is just another wooden horse nailed on our own invisible turntable of the “Merry-Go-Round” we belong to. In our lifetime, happiness can never fly but only go round!

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