情感，理想與願望1（讀「情感」）

情感，理想與願望1（讀「情感」）

星熒

最近整理年少時寫的一些詩稿，如今重讀「情感」一詩，激起我内心深處的回響，詩中涉及的不外是情感，理想與願望，逝去的歲月裏，多少往事如煙，如今又歷歷漂過眼前。感嘆人生之無常，歷史的見證，説明了理想與現實之間竟會有如此巨大的落差！現在再來談談我自己對「情感，理想與願望」之間的一些感受：

Recently, when I sorted out and edited some undigested manuscripts of what I had written in past decades, the poem “Affection” again attracted my attention. I wrote this short poem when I was a young man in my early twenties. It stirs up some echoes and reflections from the bottom of my heart when I reread it now. Events during the last several decades have faded like a puff of smoke. Now it seems that they are vividly reappearing and passing, one by one, in front of my eyes. I can’t help but sigh about the uncertainty of life. History has been the witness, which proves that there does exist such a huge difference between ideal and reality! Now let’s talk about my own feelings on the relationship among “Affection, Ideal, and Desire.”

• 情感(Affection)和盼望中的理想(Ideal)與願望(Desire)都是心靈上的一種感受 (Feeling)。
Affection, Ideal, and Desire in expectancy are all feelings from the heart.
• 情感是一種要能甘於承受忍辱負重的無奈。情感不是出於理智的思考，而是沒有邏輯可循而又固執的意念。 所以人在情感中就用不上「因為那樣，所以如此」的推理。但情感有其最美好的一面，那就是當情感衝擊著心靈時，就激發出對真誠的了解，善良的領悟，以及美的感受。
Affection (for a specific subject or goal) is a mental act that one cannot help, but for which one is willing to bear responsibility and blame. Affection does not come from the result of an intelligent thinking process but rather is a stubborn idea without logical reasoning. Therefore, people in a mood of affection would never apply even the simplest rationale like “because that, therefore it is so.” However, Affection can show the most beautiful side of life; that is when Affection moves one’s heart, and then one will truly understand and appreciate what the true, the good, and the beautiful are.
• 情感總是伴著一些遙遠的理想，那是一個美麗的憧憬。情感的表現就是為這些理想在進行不計得失與成敗的耕耘。
Affection always accompanies some remote Ideals, which are the beautiful things for which one is longing. Expressions of Affection are those actions of hard work for the Ideals of Affection without thought of their gains or losses, or successes or failures.
• 願望是理想對現實讓步後的一種折衷的祈盼，所以在現實中只能找到願望，而難有理想存在的空間。因此情感雖伴著理想，而理想在現實中又不得不妥協，再轉化為願望。當這起碼的願望都不能達到時，失望與痛苦就接踵而來了！
Desire is simply the product of a moderated ideal in reality. In the real world we can find only Desire since there is hardly room for the existence of Ideals. Hence, Ideals have to be moderated and turned into Desires. Though Affection is for its Ideal , as it is facing reality, it has instead to accept the moderated result, Desire. However, in the real world, when even the minimum desire cannot be reached, then disappointment and suffering will come.
• 現實中情感與願望就變成一對孿生的意念，它們之間隱含著奮鬥與苦痛，因為無盡的情感總是伴隨著一個終將幻滅的願望。
In reality, Affection and Desire are twin thoughts. They imply that there are struggles and sufferings, because endless Affection is always accompanying its Desire that will eventually vanish.
• 毫無約束的情感是危險的，無羈的情感就像無繮的野馬，它可導致不可理喻的行動，也可產生事先從未料到的後果。願望總是美好的，但它離理想也會愈來愈遠。最終理想破滅的痛苦是必然無法避免的現實！
Affection without control is dangerous. Unbounded Affection is like a wild horse without a bridle. It may lead to unreasonable behavior or create unexpected consequences. Having Desire is usually a fine and happy thing, but Desire is always at some distance from its Ideal. Therefore, the Ideal’s eventual disappearance is inevitable, as is the arrival of pain. This is the reality.

星熒2006 年 2月 20 日 寫于 美國 加州La Jolla。
1. 參閱1956 年作「情感」及2009年修訂改寫之「情感2009」兩詩。
This article was written in Chinese by Hsing Ying',星熒, on February 20, 2006 in La Jolla, California USA. This is a literal translation by the author on July 25, 2007 in La Jolla, California, USA.
1. Refer to the poems “Affection” and “Affection 2009.”